Aunt Patty, my Uncle LeRay's wife, died earlier this month.
I am so grateful Brittany and I were able to stop in McPherson to
visit Aunt Patty about 3 weeks before she died. She was in great spirits
that day and we talked for quite a while.
I'll miss her phone calls and how she relentlessly pursued answers to my questions about our family history as I wrote my book.
Pastor Daniel Perry, New Gottland Covenant Church in McPherson County, Kansas officiated and gave the best message at her funeral. The day was memorable in that the sanctuary was standing room only and a huge thunderstorm came over during the service and only her immediate family braved the 60 mph winds and rain at the New Gottland Lutheran Cemetery. They came back with a few broken umbrellas and wet clothes but, their positive attitudes were intact, just like Aunt Patty would have liked.
Before I left the church, I asked the pastor if he'd send me the message.
I'll let his own wonderful words tell you about Aunt Patty.
***
There is a short passage from Paul’s fatherly letter to Timothy that perfectly fits Patty.
For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. [2 Timothy 4:6]
Patty fought the good fight. She ran the race. She kept the faith.
She found out that she had Multiple Sclerosis when she 40, so it was with her over half of her life. But when I say she fought the good fight; she ran the race; she kept the faith; I am not talking about the battle with M S. M S affected her greatly, there is no doubt, BUT it did not define her.
Acts of kindness and faithfulness to her family, church, and friends did. And even more so and at a far deeper level, her love for Jesus and commitment to following him. What we do in life with those around us, in our work, in our daily activities is only one dimension of who we are.
What anchors that and gives it profound meaning is what is in our spirit. We become most wholesomely human when we base our life on the divine. When we seek Jesus first, all the rest fits in its place.
Jeff shared the memory of walking into the room one day where his mother was listening to a Christian radio program and crying as she gave her heart to Jesus. She had been a church member before that, and was doing what she could to be a good wife and mother, but that act of giving her heart to Jesus changed everything.
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| Patty and LeRay about 1975 |
She had a thirst for God and his Word, reading and studying. She became actively involved in Bible study groups and women’s ministry groups. She wasn’t just doing it because it was a good thing and expected of a good Christian woman, she was doing it from the heart, in service to Jesus, her Savior.
As I sat with LeRay and Jeff this week, with Jackie and Jerri joining in by phone, I was blessed to hear of their conversions to following Jesus. It transformed their lives. Ultimately it is God who does the converting, but it takes a willing spirit on our part. It was Patty who first showed the family by her commitment to Jesus and the changes it made in her life.
Jerri said and Jeff and Jackie agreed that they felt utterly blessed to be born into this family. It reminds me of Proverbs 31:28 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:”
That is what I see when I spend time with this family.
LeRay and Patty invested in their children and their family. They often took them to concerts and to hear famous Christian speakers. They made time for what was important. They heard David Wilkerson speak in person, as well as Nicky Cruz, and Corrie Ten Boom. They attended a Sandi Patty concert. And they had lots of good records and tapes for them to listen to.
They didn’t try to force faith in their children, but gave them a rich environment where they could hear it and more importantly they modeled it in their daily lives.
The kids remember having devotions every morning with Patty before they went to school. And they knew she was praying for them during the day and throughout their lives. I know she was too, many times after the service Patty would call me over and share something from her family, kids, grandkids, and great grandkids that she wanted me to especially pray about.
All those prayers, God answers. We don’t always see instant changes, but over time you see the blessed results.
So far I’ve spoken about spiritual things. But God put us in the world to live and learn day by day.
Patty understood this, at least the practical application of it. I heard that she organized her family and had duties for each of the kids as they were growing up. She worked, sometimes through the night, when needed.
One time she made a dress for Jackie to wear to school, but she had sewn one of the panels upside down. When she finished the project she realized what she had done, the day before Jackie was to wear it. She got another piece of material, cut it out, upright this time, and spent the whole night tearing out the stitches and resewing the dress. It was done by morning so Jackie could wear it. That was a great example of doing something right and sticking at it until it is finished.
Patty also taught her children to be disciplined. She planned daily chores for them, and had regular weekly responsibilities. The kids didn’t always like it at the time, sewing projects during the summer days, practicing piano, and being encouraged to perform for others.
Patty pushed her kids to be musicians but realized that some have talents in one area, while others are gifted differently. She loved music and performing for others to worship by. She tried to get her kids to do the same. But she was a realist too.
Jackie remembered practicing and practicing to play for the offertory at church. Despite all the practice and her best efforts, it didn’t go well at all. Afterward Patty encouraged her to move on to something else. And that was a blessing too. Some things you just can’t force.
Jackie found joy in running, and Patty encouraged her in that. She even looked up all the verses in the Bible about running and shared them with Jackie.
Jerri who by nature was shy, learned to bless others with her music. It wasn’t easy getting up in front of people to sing or play, but by constant encouragement and practice something beautiful developed in that way.
And Jeff, suffered with piano for 7 years, and though Patty was disappointed when he stopped, flourished in speaking and leading.
Patty loved to read, especially her Bible. She highlighted sections in her Bible that really meant something to her. Often she would write someone’s name by particular passages, as if to say, “I’m claiming this for this person.” What a treat it is for the family now to look back over that Bible and see what passages were close to their mom’s heart and how she held each of her family close in her prayers and thoughts.
Even as her MS grew worse and she couldn’t get around and do like she had before, she stayed active. She read and prayed, and sent cards and gifts. When she found a book that seemed especially good for someone she sent it to them. She’d write who it was to and from and adding an appropriate verse from the Bible. Jerri said just before she began her recent surgery and battle with cancer her mom gave her the book, “The Sweet Side of Suffering.”
Patty knew about suffering, and she understood what Jerri was about to go through. She wanted to encourage her.
Patty knew about suffering. The Multiple Sclerosis took away bits and pieces of the things in life she enjoyed. It goes through stages, sometimes doing lots of damage and then for periods it goes into remission.
Around the year 2000 Patty had to give up walking and use a wheelchair. Then she moved to using a power chair.
She explained to me some of what was going on, but she didn’t do it with bitterness or anger. She jokingly told me she had given names to her legs, Flopsy and Mopsy, because they just did what they wanted to do; one went this way and the other that.
It would be tempting to just say, well that’s it, I’m done. But she didn’t. She kept playing the organ at church for many years, even when she was in a wheelchair, and helping out with the family business office work.
The MS not only took away ability to control her body, but it brought pain as nerves malfunctioned. For a time she had shooting pain in her head, so much that she couldn’t chew, and had to hold her face and jaw in a certain way. There was a particular treatment that helped deaden the rebellious nerve, but she still suffered.
They say behind every great man is a great woman. Well, I have seen that beside Patty, there is a great man. LeRay has been a faithful caregiver. There were things he had to give up too, in order to help Patty with her daily needs. As she got older and her body became less cooperative, he had to spend more time helping and waiting.
LeRay and Patty probably had the hardest time of anyone getting to church on Sunday morning. But they were also about the most faithful in being here. That says a lot. I’m going to miss seeing both of them back there in the special place for a wheelchair. But LeRay, we’ll stand by you and encourage you as much as we can in the days ahead.
Sometimes after the service, especially if it was about the joy of heaven yet to come, Patty would tell me she was really looking forward to being there. No more wheelchair. She’d be free to run and jump and enjoy the presence of Jesus and other loved ones already gone.
You see, when a Christian dies, they leave their body behind and their spirit goes to be with the Lord, immediately. Patty echoed Paul in Philippines 1:23 “I desire to depart and be with Christ.” But also with Paul she was willing to stay here until her time came.
But there’s something even greater still! As I read at the beginning, there will be a resurrection of our bodies. I don’t know how, but God who made our bodies can do it.
Our spirits will be reunited with our bodies, but not these broken down ones. Perfect glorified bodies. We will be able to enjoy life to the full without the physical limits that we have now.
And our understanding will go through the roof. So much we don’t understand now about life, our own lives, this world, God, the universe, all of creation. It will be clear to us then.
“Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” [1 Corinthians 13:12]
In this life there are only two things that will last beyond the few years we have here on earth. First, is our relationship with God. He offers eternal life with him. He designed us to be in relationship with him.
But as humans we keep blowing it, blowing it beyond repair. But then Jesus comes to us and says, drop those things you’re hanging onto, trying to make it right, and give me your hand. Come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
The second thing that lasts is our relationship with each other. If you are in Jesus Christ, the people you know who are also in him, will go with you into eternity. There we will live in unbroken relationship forever. There we won’t fight, or argue, or get bitter or revengeful. In that place there is joy and laughter, love and freedom. It’s what we were made for.
Those two things last forever. They are the only things you will take with you when you leave this life. Everything else, things the world values so much, will all turn to dust and ashes.
Today we say goodbye to a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunt, cousin, friend, but especially a sister in Christ. We miss her already. But glory to God, whoever is in Christ Jesus, will see her again, on the other side, When We All Get to Heaven.
***
November 28, 1938-July 6, 2023
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